For a couple while i wrote a blog about Sucide and self harm and got a lot of messages here, and in the last time i heard a lot abou suicide and self harm in the televison so i thought i write here a second one about an addiction of Slef-harm and suicide thoughts.
I have also these addiction of self-harm, more then these thought about suicide but theres also in my and maybe always will. For me people who never had something like this or never done this couldnt understand it what WE going through, what we feel while the blood start running down of our arms/ legs or wherever you cut yourself.
For me personally in this moment it feels good to feel yourself just for a couple seconds, to feel the pain and start to forget all this shit in the life for some minutes, i was just there in this moment, the only thing in my mind was how good this all felt at the time.
It gave so many diffrent reasons to start Self-Harm, some of the reasons could be
– Bullying, stressed, being alone, depressed, confused about yourself and many more .. –
It also gave some levels of self-harm theres these people who cut themself just a little bit and maybe just all couple weeks and then theres people who cut themself pretty often a day and mostly everyday. You should judge someone when he start cutting everyone has his own problems why he start, dont look away, help this person that that is something what these person really need.
And also people who Self-harm doesnt do it always at their wrist where everyone can see it, some poepl like me do it on a complete diffrent place cause we dont want that anyone knows about this we wanna hide our problems, hide that we are week and destroyed in the soul .
In the last days there was these story from Amanda Todd in the tv the girl who did Suicide and did self-harm and all this. I heard that people start writing she wasn deserve to life and some aother really bad stuff. I cant understand why people start saying shit like this cause exactly this bring girls in this circel of suicide and self-self, everyone is it worth it to live.
-Seriously everyone is it worth it to breathe to live and to being loved –
It makes me really mad to here stuff like this, they dont know what happend in a girl / boy mind hen someone start saying things like this to someone whos weak and self-harm then words like
– Slut, fag, bitch ,fat, ugly, whore, –
All these word bring someone to start self- harming, and these word are not that soon away from your mind there still years after this in your mind you start believing this, all this your ugly, fat … and this bring someone to this addiction of self-harm.
When these people doest stop to saying words like this and do it again and again a girl/boy start thinking sometimes about suicide how he could do this and all this. YOu get these thought sooner as you can believe, trust me i had them too a couple times and i almost did it. But some really important people stopped me to do it, people who i love and trust.
No one shoud believe people who saying words like this, in the soceity of 2012 its really hard to grow up to an healthy teenager/woman. The bullying in school is horrible, the suicde rates are horrible and the self-harm rate getting higher and higher. The kids start to forget how they actually do with saying these words. For them its just a word tat they say maybe a joke or just to be cool. But its not.
Its more then this, they all see this on Tv and think they are cool while there saying it but how are they feel when they would know the he killed someone with this words this person who gets bullied start self-harm and weeks/month/years after this this person saw just one way the Suicide. Whats then. ?
The Teenager rate of happy girls sink in the last years really fast cause in school theres these cool people, cheerleader, Blonde girls and then theres the Loser. But why start people bullying just about the fact one person doesnt look like the other , listen to other music, has some other interest ?
I still cant understand this i dont know why, we are all human, normal people who are on the Journey of life and want to see so much new things ..
We all just want to be loved, happy , and wanna enjoy our life is this to much that we all want ?