I want to bring up something that im dealing with so often in the past 3 Years. Im talking about a Post Concer Depression, might some of you know what im talking about, but for thoose who not know heres some information and the feeling i get over and over again
For many people like me a Concert is not just a concert where we go to and have some time together, might dancing around and something, for me a Concert is always something to look forward to , to be happy about just something to keep me alive and dont let me getting insane in this whole World. A Concert is for me something magical that no one could ever gave me, this feeling i get when i wait in the line before the show 2,4 or maybe even 10 hours, yeah for some of you this sounds crazy or something but for me its something i wanna do to might have the chance to meet one of the people who helped and saved my life so many times.
To know i get closer to the time when i just can let fall my mask that i wear day by day to act like im happy and smiling, i just can be myself in this 2 Hours, i can spend my time with 1000 Strangers in one room but all i know is we have all something in common we are all there for this Band, something just because the same reason others are just there to spend an awesome time ans then go home and thats it.
Not for me, in this 2 Hours, i just can be me, i dont need to act like im happy cause in this 2 Hours i really am happy, i smile and i really mean it, its everytime a new experience on a concert its always diffrent but at the end it makes me always unbelievable happy. My Life isnt always the best and easy one, i try my best day by day i do things that i dont like at jobs,pretend if im allright day by day, we all do this somehow and all this stress we had this anger in us, it falls down from our shoulders within seconds of standing in the crowd, we look up to the Singer or the Band why we are there, when the first melody, the first line it gets us, everything is surreal, everything we see looks so bright so beautifull, we forget everything what was or even is and we are there where we belong to.
When the first lyrics starts you already know them you can sing everysingle line everysingle word, the melody goes through you body you heart is beating to the melody that got played, you start dancing like its one f the normals things, the people right next to oyu to the same, thousand of people enjoying something so special and wonderfull at the same time. You Jump up and down, theres not much room where you stand but it doesnt care, even if you fall someone picks you up and smileys at you, you´ve me surrounded by so many wonderfull people. You dont feel how the time flies how short actually 2 hours are … Some Lyrics of some songs mean the most to you, words that saved you, words that helped you when no one was there. You start crying cause they sing about something how you feel, what you´ve been going through or still dealing with. You look up to them, sing with them everysingle word and crying cause theres someone who understands how you feel and he is always there for you.
The moment when the Show is over, the Bands leaves the stage, you cant really realise what happend, how can be 2 hours so short, its all surreal and you are just there and dont know what to do, to think or you dont even know wheres the exit, you waited for this moment might weeks or Month sometimes also years for this special moment and then its over.
You leave the Hall where there performed, you might check the merch to grab something from their stuff and then you leave you might wait till they might comes out or you go home, filled with Happiness and sadness at the same time. You cant even describe really how you feel you have a smile on your face and tears in your eyes. All what you want is already going back to see this show again and again. You know tomorrow is the same old life back the time where you put your Mask on and pretend you are allright and everything is fine.
a Days or Days you feel sick and alone, you can start crying directly when you look back to the show, you get the good feeling back when you think about the whole show, but then you wake up and realise its over and you start crying like hell, you want to be happy, you want the show back your lifesaver on stage everything but you cant. This is a Post Concer Depression.
I dont know i cant even count how much i had a depression like that actually my whole life is a Post Concer Depression, cause there i can be who i am and dont need to pretend something diffrent.
You try to find in the Social Network people who feel the same like you, people who understands you, the feeling you have and how much you miss this Band this feeling, you try to look forward to, to the next show or planning to travel to another city to see them Live, i already did this i traveld through my whole country to see a Band live, for some it might sounds crazy but for me its the only thing that keeps me alive.
Together we are strong, a Fanbase should stay together cause we all feel the same, we go all through the same emotional rollercoaster, we find new people with diffrent storys and nobody should get judge by what hes been listen to. We all want to break out of Life jsut for 2 Hours we just want to feel again. Even when just for 2 Hours.
Thats my Story
If You want you can write me yours x