I know its been a while since the last time, but loads of things happend and i had to Focus a bit more at Work and had to figure a few things out.
I dont really know how this Blog will end cause i really dont thought about it what i want to write so i just write it down what ive been thinking.
The word “Stay” is a word for me that i dont like .. not just because it get along with the point of loosing people to ask them to stay … no the thought that i was ready to leave 2 years ago but i stayed here i choosed to stay ang give this all a second chance and to be honest im kinda glad i did … to choose to leave wasnt a easy decision i almost took but there were reasons why and sometime things getting worse day by day and you cant do anything about it, you trying your best but no one is really seeing it, no one appreciate the things you do.
But what ive learned is that you get stronger out of it when you finally made it out of the rain and you finally see the sun.. its a hard way to get to it and ive changed in the past years, but i thinks thats growing up … we see things diffrent and might kno how to handle some situations i dont know .. but to look back to the day .. it scares me a bit .. im still not super happy .. but im enjoying the little things in life, theres days where i can say im really happy and i really mean it.
The day where i went to my mum and told her that i need help was one of the hardest things ive ever done .. she still doesnt know all what happend and nothing about the thing i tried to commit suicide its better im sure … but she knows im depressed and things… the weird thing she always said i need help Years ago….. but i always said no i dont need hel its all good …. well since then ive got used to get hurt and i tried to ignore all of this .. i stopped to trust people. I Proud of myself that i told her thoose things even if i havent found a place but i took the first step.
Its been crazy 2 years and to be honest i wouldnt be here if there wasnt thoose girls .. i just meet them a few years ago … but they mean everything to me, we´ve been through so much together and we are still together we are stronger then ever and i know with them on my site we will made life, its hard sometimes but we have us.
” Close together or far apart, forever in each others heart”
Sometimes people have to leave you its better sometimes even how hard it will be to let go … it doesnt mean you will never see that person again, sometimes we all need a break to calm down a bit and to look forward again maybe it need a few years who knows but you have to figure out who you are and what you want and when its not possible with people then let them leave you are just going down when they stay …
Look forward to new things, your first priority should be you, you have to be happy not others and when you cant with them let them go.