222 Days Clean

Hey People,

I cant really tell you why im here right now and writing this down … i just thought i just should check my WordPress blog and i saw theres still people who reading some of my old Blogpost and i thought you might should “update” it with a new post … i tried it once a few month ago but it wasnt the right time …

Well as some of my readers know i had a really bad time in the past with suicide thougths and other stuff  … its been a while since i updated cause i really needed to figure out in which way my life shpuld turn cause i know it cant end here …. people helped my through this time and im thankfull for this even when im not close to some of them anymore … Nevermind

Well its been a while now and it changed alot of things.

I start working in a complete new place with people who i love to work with i dont get panic attacks anymore when im on my way at work, i meet so many kind people there and im finally happy to find a new Job like that … yeah sometimes i hate it to work but who doesnt ;).

What else changed … well i start and still try to see things not to bad as i did in the past, sure theres always days where i fall back into my old mood but i have people around me or on the internet who cheer me up and to stop me to do bad things and im so happy that i have them in my life now… i never thought that my life really changed that much in the last 2 years. Mostly it changed cause i meet people like them. To look back now, to see old post .. i dont know i get a really weird feeling about it.

If someone told me that i change that much in 2 years i wouldnt believed him to be honest, i really start to kind of enjoy life, i love to laugh abput things, i opened myself infront of people about everything and it feelt good, i just need to get up always when i fall, i just need to remind myself theres people who care and always will.

Theres so much negativity in the world its so sad to see people killing themself, getting depressed or giving up … i know trust me i know how fucking hard life can be and how unfair, but see ive made it through this, its a hard battle against mostly with yourself, but you will be proud about the point tha you´ve made it and you getting stronger day by day and theres people who love you …

and its never lame or weak to search for help never forget sometimes we cant win the battle alone so we nee to get help and thoose people will help you to love yourself because your life is precious, all of your life is it.

Im clean now for 222 Days its may not much i know but for me its enough, im proud that ive made it so far and i will made it to a whole year …

Dont give up if you having a fight just message me im here ❤

dont forget your life is precious

x Sarah


Can you Respect yourself with how do you Look and can See in the mirror and say Im beautiful ?

Hello Readers,

I thought a couple times about this to write a blog about this problem which almost every girl has ! Its really a big problem in the life of a teenager and now also in the young life of little girls or growing up womans.

It gave not a lot of girls who cant respect how they looks like, when they see in the mirror they see problems they someday not really excist i mean, to fat, ugly, the nose, the breast, her belly, her but and some intire parts of their bodys.

Well im under these people who are “fat” in real and for me its really hard to look in the mirror and think are oyu really pretty, i must say not really people say to me that im pretty and this actuall proofs me that im not. For me its really hard to write about this but i wanna show some other gilrs they are not alone in this world !

When i look in the mirror i just see myself abd what happen with me in the last 6 years and its really horrible, this shows what can happen when you life is fucked up and your friends doesnt care about you and you start to eat just to feel happy.

I probertly couldnt believe when someone say to me you are pretty or something else cause its nor the truth


But what is really hard in the socetiy of 2012 the Skinny girls wanna wear the magic size sero, its the skinny size of all, i mean i must say its not even pretty to look like a skelet with a little bit skin thats it. Just because the celebritys wear this size zero all teenager wanna wear this too. I mean dont be someone who you dont wanna be. And dont see some problems in the mirror they doesnt excist.

I saw it a couple times by my friends they are all almost all healty skinny but when they look in the mirror with them maybe 56 -64kg they start to say right next to me “im fat” look at my legs and my belly and i just think WTF is going on i wish i had your body …..

I can understand when people like me say im fat and neet to do something or girls have really issue with their body really bad one then its okay but when someone just say this, because they doesnt look like the Top Models !! Really no guy in this world want to cuddle with a girl where you see al bones and everything !!

To have a little bit more on the ribs is completly okay, a lot of boys love when girls are not that skinny like the Top Models.

And for those like me … We must do something cause its not that healty to be like that, i know its really hard and will be hard, but we must do it, when we finally lost some kg we can be proud of ourself :). I already start my own programm and lost -4kg so head up. Togther we reach our goals.

xxx Sarah