First of all im deeply sorry for having a little time out with blogging .. i needed some time for myself to figure out a few things and all this but i try to blog now more xx

We all have a lot and some just a few people around ourself that we call “friends” people who we truly love and talk to when we need someone to talk. Friends are really important people in our life except beside parents and the family, with friends you can talk about your problems, they dont judge you for being you, friends are there when you need them.

Since we all were little we searched for friends like in the kindergarden, the early beginning of searching people.

In our Life we might still our old friends that we knew for a very long time, but people change over the years and somehow they figure out that they are not that close anymore as they was. When we all started to go to the highschool we all tried to find people who listen to the same music like we do, love the same things, we tried to find some for not being alone.

In our early years it was way  easier to find new friends, it doesnt count how you look,who you are or what you stand for,  you wanted just some fun in the School breaks or after School.

But now in our all teenager lifes and in the Soceity of 2013 its really hard to find new people who accept you for who you are and what you love. Theres always and everywhere people who hate you for who you are and they dont accept you way how you life your live. They try everything to break you, the try to hate yourself for who you are.

People start getting really rude in their teenage age  and still after that they didnt change they attitude to all these things. The soceity makes it for us the teenager not really easy to find new people who you can trust 100%, its getting harder and harder year by year, we all lost our friends because we didnt had much time with them  or we start loving diffrent things, theres always many ways why a friendship broke. I think all of you had this one friends that you thought you share your whole life with but at the end it broke sadly …

Sometimes you see it comming that the friendship start to change you dont talk that much like before or your love to something is not the same anymore, the other person start to talk with others way more about things, and it makes yourself really sad cause you cant really understand why all this happend, what did you´ve done to deserve to treated like that, sometimes püeople change like 180* and are complete diffrent, its normal for a person to change we all change in one way, but the thing is, are the people change themself with or without you, do they still want you in their life when they dont show you this feeling ?

A Friendship is not something that comes and stay for doing nothing, a real friendship is hard work for both sides to keep them.  A Friend need to fight for you trust and for the place in your heart, its not like hey be my Friend for the next 80 Years, no its not that easy, i mean not for me, for me i need to know everything about a person to call him a friend.

Sure its normal to have sometimes a little fight with your friends, its normal to have sometimes a diffrent view about a few things but the important thing is you need to accept this other view to this and still love this person for this, to have always the same love for something is not always good, you shouldnt change yourself for the other peson to like you, that would be stupid, cause you are who you are and you should be proud of this when people dont like you for this that this are not real friends, and a little fight between you and your friends brings you sometimes closer as you was, sure theres alwas the point that a friendship can break but then it was not the right and real one.

When you really love a person and you want her in your life, then be you, true friends accept you for this and love you.

x Sarah



Be who you are and dont change Yourself for others

Hey beautiful people

We all started like Little Girls or Boys, who Loved to play all Day long and we dont need to think about if someone likes us or not.

Then Later in our Teenage age, the problema begun, there were groups in school the

cool ones, the nerds, cheerleader, freaks any many more

It was not anymore important how you act no just how you look like and how others can change you just with words

For many people the Highschool is such a hell on earth i know all this bullying shit, the hate everywhere. I know its fucking hard but trust me the Highschool ends and you get out of there.

To stay who you are and what you Love is in this time really hard cause you wanna find friends, sometimes the wrong ones, but you gonna learn from this.

What i wanna say, how hard it is and how much energy it needs dont Change yourself just to get loved by others we are all individual and this makes each of us special and unique.

Dont Change your look, you way to talk or what you eat just be yourself and you will see the truth and honest people gonna love you for this

xo Sarah


My Year 2012 a little review of my life 2012

Hey People,

The last days are here of the Year 2012, what a Year, a lot of happend this year, some good things and some bad things.

I thought a few times about it to write it all down as a little flashback from the Year or a review, might it would be a long one so beware of reading alot.

I collected the year into the month and write all what happend from month to month.

January :

A New Year a new Journey ? In January i bought my concert tickets for the Show from the Boys Sons of Midnight, at this time i didnt thought how important they would be for me. The January was actually a really quiet month i talked a few times with Tiffany and Sophie via Social Networks at my Birthday on the 25. Ive Recived a little Happy Birthday post from the boys (SoM). That was really sweet of them. I was so excited about their very first own show at the 02.02.2012 at the Blue Shell in cologne.

Febuary :

At the 02.02.2012 i finally meet after a few writing messages  Tiffy and Sophie, it was amazing to meet them finally in real. Now i can sa im thankfull for having them in my life ( my Sisters ), we all were so excited to see and meet the boys, the Show was amazing, they had a support act called Benjrose a boys from cologne prett good. After the show all Fans meet the boys for some photos and Autographs but it was really akward that they all know my name haha a weird moment in my life. The Sold there a few Ep Singles with some accoustic songs, the manager didnt stopped to ask me if i want some so at the end i bought 6 of it *haha*. After that night i was on my way home and felt directly in my bad to sleep, at the next day they played a accoustic session in cologne at the Sportcheck, id was on my way with my Friend Monika and meet there Aileen, Sabine, Jess and Sophie. At the Accoustic session the played 2 Songs “The Fire and Never Again”. The Sportcheck where there played filmed it an put it on their online page, here the link,

—> <—-

These 2 Days was Incedible, i hoped to see them soon back. Almost a week ago they announced the Tourdates as a Supportact from Livingston, i was so excited, me and Sabine decided to go not just to the cologne show, we also went to the Show in Berlin, the first and the last show of the tour. At the end of Febuary they Released the First Single “The Fire” i bought directly 3 Copys to Support them as much as i can. The First time after Years that i bought Singles.


The Dates was here, the released of their selfname titled Album, i was so excited and happy i couldnt find really the words how happy i was. Unfortently at the same time i start hated to go to work i didnt felt myself very welcome there, i cant desribe exactly how but it was weird to go to work. It was very stressfull and annoying to work with a Boss that has no sense of being a boss. at the end of March i saw my Babs back “Simple Plan” since the beginning a huge Fan of them, unfortently i see them just all 2 years when i have luck they didnt tour a lot in the last years. I was there with an amazing friend called Sarina and i meet there also Sabine, we 3 had so much fun we sit all the time and the boys laugh all the time about us i think because we sit all the time.

April :

What a Stressfull Month i mean im a Florist and it was Eastern, a lot of stress at work. But i was looking forward to the Tour of my Boys. The Boys brought a friend of them with on Tour called Jimmy,hes is one of the craziest dudes i know seriously i scream all the time “Tequila, tequila” what a funny and weird dude. The Cologne Show was amazing we stand in the fron Row ( Tiffy, Sophie, Me, Julia, Sabine, Jessy and Beccy after their performance we leave the front Row ans walked to the Merch stand where the boys was we talked a lot and bought their Shirt what they made. Me and Sabine told the Boys that we also planned to come to the Berlin show they were pretty happy *haha*. We took a Airplane to flight to Berlin, we spent the weekend there, at the Berlin show weve meet Claudi, Elli and Nadine, so sweet Girls. It took a bit of time before we started to talk a lot . The Berlin Show was funny we all Entertained the boys alot with our Jokes adn Everything *haha* it was an amazing night. at the next day was luckly Sunday everything opend and we meet in the city Claudi , Nadine and Elli we spent a few hours in the City, before we leaved berling to fligh back to cologne. Mitchell send me a little Tweet with “Safe Flight back to cologne Girls” this was so sweet.

May :

Back to work, back to the Stress called Mothersday, it was so hard at this day unbelievable. They bought Flowers, omg i didnt know that so many people could buy Flowers *haha*. Luckly a Family fest announced that Sons of Midnight gonna perform there in 6 citys. I was so happy and excited and hoped that i could to some of these shows, they played just 35 mins but hey they played there. The Fest stopped in “Hamburg, Bad Vilbel, Munich, Berlin, Mannheim and Düsseldorf. Unfortently it was all the time a Saturday so i prayed that i get free on these days.

June :

Finally it happends ive got my First Tattoo at the 6oclock * haha*, for me the Tattoo has a special meaning and its very Important just a few people knows the really meaning of it just those who need to know it, i dont care what the other say. Luckly i had Holidays for 2 Weeks and had the chance to go to both Rewe Shows in Hamburg and Bad Vilbel. I Spent 2 weeks in Berlin with my Girls Claudi and Elli, we girls travelled alot throught whole Germany. Ive meet the Girls in Hamburg with Claudis brother Anton, hes such a sweetheart really :). We had a lot of fun at these festival, we was all so happy to see the boys, gladly i had the chance to go with a good friend called, Rabea to a Meet and Greet with the boys we said hello and all that and then i showed them the suprise, my Tattoo, they were shocked and happy at the same time haha. I ask Matt to get Elli, Claudi and Anton and we get them in, we had a lot of fun talked alot and said see you soon in Bad Vilbel. It was an Wonderfull day sadly we had a Car drive of 3 Hours left, but we was happy. After that long drive we fall all driectly in our beds. I Spent some amazing times in Berlin after a Week we packed our bags and drived to Bad Vilbel aka Frankfurt

Me Claudi and Elli took a Hotel to spend 2 night n Frankfurt cause sadyl just Elli had a Drving lesson, and it would be to much when she need to drive so long ways at 2 days. We had a lot of fun in the hotel i kinda miss it to fall asleep right next to my Missy and my Claudi. We meet in Bad Vilbel Sophie and Tiffy to Fangirl together for our boys. We had again the chance to met the boys at the Meet and Greet. Unfortently after a lot of Drama from other people htere were also some Security guys, we all thought okay this is ridicioulus but okay. We laugh about this. The boys played at this time Superman for the First time i think and i love this song its not my Fave but one i truly love. After that perfomance we need to say Goodbye to Tiffy and Sophie :(. They drived back home and we others back in the Hotel for some sleep. At the next day we drived back. i had 5 days left in Berlin and then i took my train back home to cologne. I was really sad about this my heart is and always will be in Berlin.

July :

That what ive never expected happends i lost my Job, at one site i was happy cause it was not even that anymore what is was, it was just stressfull and ive got sick of working lost a lot of weight didnt eat anymore and all this i was from the other site to lost them. It was not the right job. In July there was the next Rewe Family Show this time in Tiffys near in Munich. Elli and Claudi came with the car and i took a carpool tp get to Tiffy. I was happy to see her again :). We talked a lot in the middle of the night finally Elli and Claudi arrived. I cant rememeber how long we were awake but we didnt sleep alot, we put our clothes on and picked up Sabine at the train station. Together we drived 2 Hours to Munich, luckly we meet them again at the meet and greet we never had that much meet and greets in our life hahha always fun. It was so hot there unbelievable, but blue sky, beautiful Show, everything was perfect, after the day we spent in Munich be drove back and fall directly in our bed to leave Tiff at the next day 😦 Such a awfull goodybe, miss my Tiffy. At the end of Jul the Rewe Festival stopped in Berlin that means off to Berlin  *haha* my second home. I slept by Nadine we drunk  alot of alcohol i cant really remember what all happend, but i know no more Jägermeister. We met Elli +Mum, Claudi + Mum, Sarah at the Stage i missed this girls so bad and claudis mummy :(. Unfortently we didnt got an meet and greet but the boys came out for us :). Show awesome like always :). After that the boys came out we talked again alot it was so sweet. At the next day Goodbye from Berlin again, i miss my home.

August :

The Last Rewe, the last time we see this year our Boys it was so sad i baked a cake for Mitch, he ask all the time to get an Rainbow cake so i did one for him haha i also had some Jack Daniels in my bag and a beerfass of 5 Liter. I also did a little present for them a book with memories, that they never forget the days we spent together, we Fangirl a lot we was there with Tiffy, Sophie, Julia, Zuzanna, Gina, Sophies brother and Mum, Veronique. We had alot of fun there. after they show they came out we all said goodbye, me and Gina spent some more time with them Backstage. It was an amazing day nothing can beat that, we bought the boys at the next day to the airport it was hard to say goodbye to get some kisses and hugs for the last time, really hard, cause i know this is the last time for this year. It was a hard time after that i missed the boys really 😦 the and the girls are like m Family, att he time i missed them a lot i start writing these blog here to put all what i thought and what i think down.

Septembre :

I felt myself useless, i lost my job and was not really happy or postiv about the fact that i would find a new one, i van call this that i fall in a bad depression, start cutting again, the bad mood was back and it didnt left me soon, i dont know what i could do or what should i do i just layed on my bed and was sad and depressed the whole month.

Oktober :

At the beginning it was the same i didnt saw an end if all this i wrote a few blogs about whats going on, that was all that ive done, i wasnt really often outside, on the street or out with friends, i was at home and done nothing. At the end of Octobere there was a little light at the end i spend my favorit holiday season with 2 of my lovley friends Sophie and Jessy we had so much fun together for the first time i felt myself happy again i love to spend some time with my girls.

Novembre :

The Stress begun, the days are counting till christmass just over a Month, i start to look forward to think about my future and what i really want and wanna do. At the middle of Novembre i had a concert to look forward to, it was an amazing evening i was there with nadja and jessy we had a lot of fun weve meet the supportband and the Band Called The Used the frontman bert MCCracken is such a sweet guy he is so lovley. We talked a bit took a picture and ive got some autograph it was an lovles evening.

Dezember :

The Last Month of the year, and the most stressful one *haha* i mean hey its christmas the people freak out to get some present cook some delicious stuff at christmas and all this. I wrote some good and bad Blog at this month i tried to write about a lot what im thinking about and all this. I Missed m girls and my Boys at this time the most, my family, those who i love the most, its hard when you know them some of them 15.000 km far away and my girls in whole germany, the life cant be good to us, but i love it that i found them this year, i never wanna miss them again i love them too much.

So this is it i think i tried to write everything down about what im still remember it, the life wasnt really easy this year for me i had a few time where i thought to give up, to end my life, but there was people the stopped me, i gave promises that i still fight and be strong. All what i can say the life can be a bitch, but we must stay strong the soceity is the biggest fake on earth dont believe what she wants to tell you, she lie about whos perfect, who look flawless and all this. Everyone is beautiful in their own way trust me  🙂 Chin up and smile

Thank you all for reading my blog its unbelievable how many people start reading my blogs and follow thank you fro everything what you gave me in this year, i love you all and wish you all a wonderfull 2013 its time that we all get a good year

xxx Sarah


Dont look away when people start cutting, get bullied do Something !

Hey People,

In the last week i saw something, that i couldnt understand, i couldnt understand people who start telling others on social places like twitter, that it would be better to kill yourself, and that your re ugly not worth it to live and all this, i didnt recive that messages i just saw it and start talking to the bullyied girl to let her know that she dont need to believe that shit what these other girl start talking about, and then i wrote a message to this girls who start sending these tweets out.

All what she wrote me was, she is not worth it to live, shes ugly fat and stupid,

I was never that shocked honestly i told her to stopped this cause its never OKAY !! to tell people this everyone has feelings and this one of the most awfull things that ou get called, i mean how would you feel when someone start sending you tweets or messages all the time to get called, fat, ugly, die, stupid or whatever.


But this was not the only thing i saw in the last weeks i heard it pretty often in the tv , radio or saw it here on the internet that more and more people start to kill themself , start cutting, or stopped eating. Well i just can say im not perfect i fight by myslef against so much and its always hard to stay strong, but we must stay strong we cang give up, for some of “us” the life is always a fight against other or against ourself, its hard i know that, but please when you need help then search for some.

Its not bad to go to a special doctor to talk about your problems, he can help, sometimes we dont find a way out these people can help alot. Please trust me.

The live is something so special for each of us, we just have this one, and we need to take care of it, it could be end that fast, everyday happend something really special, you meet through your life so many diffrent people, you see alot of new things, somewhere you fall in love, you have your family at your site (bloodfamiily or friendsfamily) it doesnt care cause these people love you for this what you are and not what the soceity start to talking about .

Everyone is Beautiful and worth it to live dont give up, sta strong for you and for thoose that you love. and when you fall back into your old mood /puke out the stuff that youve eat or start cutting) its something what happend in our life but we can always go stronger out of this. together we can reach allot.

When you think you are alone and dont have someone to talk to … Write me, i listen to you and try to help you i know how hard the life can be, its still hard but i try my best to look forward.

xx sarah


This Year gave me the best gifts ive ever could wish for .. My Sisters ..

Hey People

I Post in the next a lot cause the year is almost over and a new chapter begins so i want to say some last few things.

This Year gave me so much reasons to fight for in the future, things ive never thought to find or having or to call my life, my family.

Its hard to trust people when you had so much drama in the past with some old “friends” or people that you know, you are careful who you can trust and who not.

At the beginning of 2012 i thought okay another year but i dont thought really that i gonna find people that i gonna love, and adore that much. After i learned how mean people can be and being hated for that what i am, i never thought this really never,

And that why im so thankfull for this that i found people that i call family, people i care about and people i want to be there for. People who i love more as my life. My Love, my sisters.

i Cant describe how all this happend, or how it easy it changed the way of strangers to friends to Sisters, it all happend, and im glad that it did, i just reminder at the first that as i all meet them in real Tiffy and Sophie (own blogpost) 02.02.2012 at the cologne show Sabine 03.02.2012 at a little accoustic session of our boys, Elli and Claudi at the 28 April with Sabine in Berlin. At this times we where Strangers and know we never could live without the others ( in my opinion .

When i would think now about it that, i must live without anyone of them, this would break my heart, everyone of these girls have a special place in m heart. In  the last few weeks i really was worried about this if it was still all good and okay between us, i took a lot of time outs from the chat group to clear my mind to see what i already love about them. But i couldnt focus my mind, i felt myself a bit gone under or better said ignored.

I cant say why really and at which times it was just a feeling that i had and i was really sad at time, and dindt know what to do. Now its all amost back where it was we all talk and it seems to get back to the good times.

I Love this girls to much to give up so easy .. Theres ..


I realyy miss claudi, the conversation that we had, i miss her smile her laugh hte lovley hugs when i start crying.. gosch i really miss her, we both had so much weird stuff in common, we both adore horror movies and all this i coud talk with her about everything, we laugh a lot at our skype sessions, we had a lot of crazy skype sessions i miss all tis really bad.


My Lovley Tiffy, my Atl/Pink girl, im glad she finally has some luck after all this what happend, i miss her akzent , her laugh, just the whole Tiffy, why we live so far away from each other its not fair. I miss to talk with you, its like we didnt alk much in the last few weeks its like i wouldnt know you anmore and this breaks my heart :(. i want the old times with you back i miss you


My Owl addicted, cuddle loveing girl, i miss the fact how do oyu sleep right next to me it was just 2 days but i miss it, the time that we shared, your voice, smile laugh everything it kills me thta i cant have you here by me, to have you not around me is so hard, we had so much fun in these8 month some good times and some bad times, but i dont wanna miss one thing, i want you back at m side to cuddle you or just to talk to you like it was in the past :(.


I miss you, sure we talk a lot via phone but its not the same 😦 i miss you really, all this without ou is not the same, defently not, i hope i can see you this friday at the christmas market here in cologne i really hope it the last we saw us was at the shopping time with sophie i miss times like this one 😦 we all miss you

Girls i miss you all so terrible and want you all as soon as possible back at my site really soon :(. I Want my Sisters back 😦

Love you so much xxx


Give yourself sometimes a break from everything to get a clear view forward, it helps !?

Hello Readers,

Im Sorry for the 2 weeks without anything posted but i needed some time for myself, it was for me important to regonize whats is really important in my life and for what i should fight and not.

I can say this break helps me a lot and i can defently say when you think you have some really big problems in your life or when you feel its getting to much, then directly do something against it take a time out from everything, it really helps to focus yourself to the things they are important for you.

The year is almost done and as might some of you know this years had more downs as highs for me, more shit that no one really need in a life. Thats why i took a break from everything and start thinking about a few things that happend ot what is with next year a lot of important questions where i actually dont have an answear for.

The Life is the only Bitch that you cant Punch in the Face

You are the only person who can help yourself and do some things better fpr yourself no one can help you that much what you actually need, some people cant give you the answear to some question of you, or can make you life that much better and brighter as it is, its a hard way to get out of the dark side of life , from the bad to the good, but you will get stronger when you go through this, it will be hard and not easy, but we are all Stronger that we might know.

When you have some Beautiful friends and Family Around you then we reach every goal that we take, cause people who we love and care about gave something to belive in. They cant give you an answear but they can show you maybe the way that you need to go to find that what you really need.

Give every day the chance to become the best of your life.

I Gave myself the goal, to see now everything a little bit postiver as i did in the past, in the past i saw everything wrong everything was bad and not good, and now i try to see it all a bit better :).

Every little step is a step into a new life, into a happy life where the love and life live. Our Past will always be there but when we can we get out of this Stronger as we ever was and will be. Then What doesnt kill you makes you Stronger, think about this, and realize its true, we have our bad times in the past, the times that we actually wish to forget but, when we really think about this, that all this what happend makes us to this what we are right know, and all this brought us these people around us that we love.

So What i wanna say with this short and little blog is, when you need some time for yourself , then take it, everyone needs some of it and it helps to clear your mid and looking forward to a new way 🙂

xxx Sarah



ps: I Promise to post in the future now some more blogs xx

People cry, not because they re weak. its because they ve been strong for too long

Hello People,

These wise words sad an awesome Actor called “Johnny Depp”.

Everyone has his own issues who he needs to deal or fight against it. Some more some less. It gave so many diffrent problems that someone can have.

” Heartbroken, loose a important person, issues with themself … “

It doesnt really seems to care what issues ou have the point is when someone fight for such a long time and had so much problems its okay to cry and let everything out. To cry doesnt mean  your are weak, sometimes the point is there where everyone need to cry and to let all out, to cry helps sometimes more as to fight, and to be honest who cares what others thinks about you when you start to cry ?

When you need to cry let it out, you are not weak, you was a long time that much strong so to cry isnt weak.

” To cry shows sometimes that you care about something”

Dont hide your Tears then the show that you care and are human then to cry is normal, everyone cry. While watching a movie, when you loose a loved person, missing someone, hear such heartbreaking music … It gave a lot reasons to cry sometimes we also cry about something good when we are happy.

When you meet after years a friends back, getting a lovley present or message, when you are excited about something really big or other Stuff.

It gave so many reasons to cry and no one of these things show me and us a weak person, just someone who has feelings and car, and this is something wonderfull.

Then every Human on the world is beautiful xx So be yourself

X Sarah

People who you love and care about, People that you call friends or better like a second family ..

Hello Readers

This blog here is more something about people that i love and really miss at the moment, i think you might know about im start to talk about here, im talking about people that you love and people that understands you adn except you just like who you are.

I heard in the last years a lot of stories how hard it is in the school now to find real and honest friends and this is actuall really sad, little kids like 11 – 12 years old start to judge you, just about the fact that you dont wear the newest clothes or have the new I Phone or whatever. When i was 11/12 years old it doesnt care what you wear, or which phone you have (i dindt had an phone at 11 years old girl ), i had just fun with the other kids played some soccer or just talk with my girls thats it.

The socetiy start changing the mind and the thought about so young people , and for little kids who never had that much money, for them its hard to find friends in school ,no one wants to talk with them or play something, this makes me really sad to hear. In this ages ou should have some fun in school play with the other all that what little kids do  .. no in 2012

— 11year old girls start wearing make up and boys start to have sex and watching porn videos on their phones —

Seriously what happend with the life of little kids? Im honest im glad that ive had these chance to grow up without all thse technical bullshit and had a childhood.

When these kids get into highschool it doesnt get easiert to find new friends, its not at all. I didnt had much friends in school so in know about what im talking about here but now im really happy that i found 5 Amazing girls, they really understands me and 5 boys who i really love.

I think its important to grow up with an good childhood, cause yo learn so much while you growing up to an adult. Im thankful for these amazing girls and boys in my life, i know that i can trust them really, and talk about everything with them. Sure in the last few month it was from my site not that easy tp understand all this whats going on and i stopped to believe in a friendship that we had, but to be honest, for a really good friendship/family you really must fight and work about this, cause ti trust someone for 100% its not easy.

— when you find someone that you completly trust, dont let him go, do what ever you can do and also when this means that you need to fight for this person its all worth it —

Everyone of us has his own little problem who he needs to fight against it, but when you have friends wo you can talk about it and mabe the could help you , it makes this all a little bit easier, really, to trust someone 100% is a gift of an amazing friendship, cause this means this person is really important to you.

— For me my friends are not just even friends, im not blessed with a real family thats why my friends are my family, my sister and my brothers.  —

I hope everyone on the has some amazing friends like i have, its the best feeling in the world to know that you have people that love you for who you are and that they xare about you. Nothing is better as to know you get loved.

A friendship starts everything with the point that this other person is an stranger to you but dont be scared to open yourself and start talking with these other person , tal kabout your hobbys or what you always love to do, what music you prefer or what you hate maybe you and the other person has much more in common as you actually thought, maybe this could be your new boyfriend or your new best friend or a really important person what mean after some year more to ou as some others.

You never know what happen when you start talking with new people but dont be shy, a little converstion with some other dont kill you it just show you how the other people are .

xxx Sarah


What is your life worth it, to still fight or just keep your head up and try to see you life as possible as you can ? It is !!!

Hello Readers,

This day i already got that idea to write about something, what is probertly in some heads of yours alsways these question, people who just need to fight in their lifes knows maybe about what im talking here.

Well the last past years i had these question pretty often in my head, and in the last days also, for people who dont know how hard a life can be they maybe dont understand this here, but for me i always need to fight in my life and i dont think that this will never stops, kinda unfair, cause some people dont need to do anything and get everything what they want. We others need to fight for everything..

– like in the job, in the personal life in the love everywhere –

Well as some of you maybe read i thought about suicide in the past for about 2 month and i almost did it, a person can be strong but someday you re not see any sense anymore to fight against anything you are done with everything and wanna go just out of this circle out of the problems just away. But i had 2 girls who helps me in this situation ther wrote at this time where i almost try it to suicide. Now im glad that i had these 2 in the situation, and also a guy helps me through all this i need to gave him a promise.

But in the last weeks it changes something and now its pretty hard to hold that promise 100%, cause i did things that avtually broke this promise when im honest, cause i doesnt see any other way to get out to make it a little bit easier all this … when the thoughts are back , that your not worth it to live .. not worth it to breathe.

When you had these thoughts one time you probertly diesnt get them out, i have it once a week maybe twice, cause theres moments where you start thinking about things and see how poor your life actually is and that it diesnt make sense anymore..

– When the life doesnt make sense anymore, to fight .. should you give up –

Well ims till trying to say me everday that im not should give up and should still fight against all this what comes its hard and always will be hard but wasnt kill you makes you stronger right ? Well sounds cheesy … But no one on earth should try to suicide, life can be such a bitch i know this but it gave everytime reasons to life

– Reasons to fight for ( Family, Friends, a Band or anything else )

YOU, dont give up keep your head up, its hard but we you always need to fight knows how to preciate some things we see the world so diffrent but we know how good it feels when you fight for something that you every wanted. People who dont need to fight doesnt know it how to feel this ..

Every single life is it worth it to live and you are worth it to breathe an be on this planet. When you need help ask your family or friends or just talk to a stranger i mean a professional its not bad to search for help and this doesnt mean that you are weak or anything else it means to fight for something. So i dont give up so you also dot give up.. together we can reach a lot in the live .

Xx Sarah


When your Favorit Band(s) break, and you loose the reason why you still breathe ?

Hello Readers,

This here is now something im actually really scared about cause it could happend each day, in every single minute it could be post by the Band Page or somewhere else.

Well today i read the message that the Livingston Drummer leave his band to go his own way, sure im happy that he went to try somthing new but its kinda sad cuase he was and always will be a part of Livingston, im not a really big fans of them but this shows me how fast this could happend that someone could leave a band or a band broke up.

Honestly in life theres just 3 Bands they really mean a lot to me, somehow more as my own life cares myself. People who not feel the same for a band wouldnt understand this, but these 3 Important Bands are Simple Plan, Linkin Park and Sons of Midnight. I knew LInkin Park and Simple Plan since the beginning of them, Simple Plan now 10 Years and Linkin Park now 12 years. Its amazing how the times fly i grow up with these amazing Bands. And they helped me in so many ways wheres no one really could helped me but these both did it.

– Music is the Soul Languages, and when you really listen to a song and about what they sing you will feel what they feel when you really listen. –

And since last Year September i found a band who i neer thought that these could change my life in so many diffrent ways, i talk about Sons of Midnight. I saw them as a Support Act from Simple Plan and was Impressed, then i saw them after this one time in cologne and 3 month later again cologne and Berlin in the last fe month its grow all up like a friendship. Through these 5 Boys i ve met the most special girls ever in my life, they mean to me all more as my life and i wanna never miss these Girls.

The Girls was there for me, when i need someone to talk with. Well i had in the last past month probertly the hardest time in my entire life and i was glad that i had them. But otherwise aslo SoM was there for me in this time specially Conrad the Singer and Mitchell the Bass Player, i never thought that people would notice me or cared about me.

– im thankfull for Elli, Claudi, Tiffy, Sophie, Sabine and Mitchell and Conrad –

I start writing these blog here so let my thoughts out, and stop being a mess, but i didnt expect that these boys would read my Blog i was kinda ashamed that he really knows the truth about that whats going on with me and in me.

well after all this i dont know what i would do when they break up, when i start read the message

– Sorry Fans but we are go now all our own way, and Sons of Midnight doesnt excist anymore –

Probertly i would die on the inside, my heart would break i couldnt stop crying, and i dont know what my mind would tel me to do at this time, it maybe sounds hard when this happend i dont know if i wanna life anymore, i cant reall describe these thoughts but they are more for me as some people know. Just to write about this scares me and i really start shaking cause this could be just a bad joke a nightmare who came true.

– First i porbertly would think is the 1 April today or is this a bad joke ? –

The Reason why i still here, why im still breathing broke up ? I Thought who i maybe couldnt live with 😦 .

Did You have also these thoughts of a band ?