Thoughts over Thoughts

Hey peeps,

Hope you are all good and everything runnings good in your life ?

In the last days and weeks i thought about allot of things good and bad ones and i start re reading my old blogs here that i post and i dont know i said pretty often its getting better and all this in the last weeks it doesnt really run good to be honest, sometimes i dont know what think about this whole situation, my mum said when one door close for you then somewherea new one open for me.

But Honestly the past month/year i just had always closed doors and i dont know how many doors i try to open to be finally there where i want and can stay ?

I didnt talk to anyone about all this cause i dont know the whole situation between my friends feels like as somthing change i dont know why always when i feel i shoud say something to be not alone here i feel like i would annoy them cause im not really a happy person and have so many good stuff to talk about i had in the past just shit to talk about and thats why i decided for a few weeks ago to stop talking about my problems and whats really going on, but i feel like its getting to much at the moment, i sit alone look a few times aday at my screen and no messages nothing and this kinda feel weird normally i have messages but it changes in so many ways.

I wish i would really know what happend, wheres the part who all this “relation” between us break and maybe i would know how to fix this or to try to make it better as it already is ?

It felt all so unreal the past weeks i cant even describe it really its like everything else gonna be more important as i am, as all what been said was wrong and not even really true, i just lay at night in my bed i think about a few things and start crying cause i dont understand what happend and what i can do to make all this better as now ?

Theres so many things that i wanna say, but i feel she wouldnt understand what i wanna say and thats the problem i cant tell her really what i feel and how i gonna feel.

This makes it all not easy and it start that something getting between us we talked last year almost every day sometime a couple times a day but now 3 times a week ?

What happend ? you said i were important for you but this silence is killing me inside and i dont know what to say or think about it ? did i said something wrong ? did i act wrong or what happend i just wanna know what happend and how i could fix it to get back to the old days is this to much ? I dont wanna loose the reason(s) why im still here and try to stay here ?

I Just want to see you and hug you is this to much that i want ? Just to have you back at my site and feeling complete and not lost anymore ?

x sarah

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Dont look away when people start cutting, get bullied do Something !

Hey People,

In the last week i saw something, that i couldnt understand, i couldnt understand people who start telling others on social places like twitter, that it would be better to kill yourself, and that your re ugly not worth it to live and all this, i didnt recive that messages i just saw it and start talking to the bullyied girl to let her know that she dont need to believe that shit what these other girl start talking about, and then i wrote a message to this girls who start sending these tweets out.

All what she wrote me was, she is not worth it to live, shes ugly fat and stupid,

I was never that shocked honestly i told her to stopped this cause its never OKAY !! to tell people this everyone has feelings and this one of the most awfull things that ou get called, i mean how would you feel when someone start sending you tweets or messages all the time to get called, fat, ugly, die, stupid or whatever.

ITS NOT OKAY !!!!

But this was not the only thing i saw in the last weeks i heard it pretty often in the tv , radio or saw it here on the internet that more and more people start to kill themself , start cutting, or stopped eating. Well i just can say im not perfect i fight by myslef against so much and its always hard to stay strong, but we must stay strong we cang give up, for some of “us” the life is always a fight against other or against ourself, its hard i know that, but please when you need help then search for some.

Its not bad to go to a special doctor to talk about your problems, he can help, sometimes we dont find a way out these people can help alot. Please trust me.

The live is something so special for each of us, we just have this one, and we need to take care of it, it could be end that fast, everyday happend something really special, you meet through your life so many diffrent people, you see alot of new things, somewhere you fall in love, you have your family at your site (bloodfamiily or friendsfamily) it doesnt care cause these people love you for this what you are and not what the soceity start to talking about .

Everyone is Beautiful and worth it to live dont give up, sta strong for you and for thoose that you love. and when you fall back into your old mood /puke out the stuff that youve eat or start cutting) its something what happend in our life but we can always go stronger out of this. together we can reach allot.

When you think you are alone and dont have someone to talk to … Write me, i listen to you and try to help you i know how hard the life can be, its still hard but i try my best to look forward.

xx sarah

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