Words do hurt

Hey people,

Im Sorry for the long break with not posting anything but i couldnt find the right words to post something, to find the right words that would gave a sense i felt myself so empty in the past weeks, i cant even descibe what happend with me, but on it happend something that i need to talk about it here its unbelievable what happend and how rude people can be and how much they can hurt  one person with just a few words.

i was at the weekend at a concert and was really looking forward to it, i met infron of the hall a few girls they were all so sweet and we had at the end such ann amazing time together and we are still in contact, one of them is a Beauty blogger and post a sweet picture of us on her page cause we had a awesome night but these comments under it i read it and read it over and over again ….

Look at the fat girl right next to you , this fat girl wanna look like you athey maked fun about me laughin about me

just about the fact i dont have a size zero , im not that beautiful as others yeah i dont look like the perfect person im not that beautiful but all this means im not that worth it to have a amazing night, to have fun all night long …. and people need to destroy it with words like this ?

I think these people dont know what they do when they write words down like this, how words can ruin a life from a person how easy people can fall into a depression, start cutting and commitet suicede people dont know nothing about this, all what they know is

Hey i bullied a  girl im now cool enough, yeah im so good now, im so strong …

I think sometimes these people have also problems and they dont find the right way to let it out and start bullyinf others to make feel themself better or i just want to help myself i dont know.

All what i know is i start crying after reading this it hurts so much to read stuff but im a person who read it over and over again to hurt myself always a bit more at the one site i just feel something but its not a good feeling i wrote something down on twitter and my friends react to this they wrote stuff under that picture that all this what the wrote is not okay, and what this girl think when she write this … there was also a few other user who wrote how disgusting this girl is to write stuff like this …

But it was so surreal to read i just saw all this negative stuff to bad words the hate against me  … I know how it felts to get bullied but i thought t finally stopped but i was wrong ….

I thankfull for having this girls in my life they accept me for who i am, and how i look they are there for me and im thankfull for my sisters i really love them.

But  ….

Theres these thought i know i have people who care about me who love me and all this but its so hard to going trough life with people like this in the world i know they are everywhere but why cant these people let us alone and let us live our own life.

After that after leaving my computer i was laying in my bed and the tears was back i cryed a lot in this night and was alone with myself there was a lot of thought in my head.. suicide thougth.. i just cant stop to think about thinks like this , the life is such a bitch and theres poeple who disgusted me like hell

words was running through my mind but i dont want to annoy someone to talk with me cause they all sleep and i dont want to wake anyone of them up just about the fact my mind is fucking around. Im Not proud about it what ive done this night im not really proud but i could find anything to stop all this im still here but i dont know all this kicks me all the time back into a part where i dont wanna be, where im not that strong where im weak like idk …

Is it to much that i just wanna live my life without getting bullied about what im doing, i just want to be love for who i am is this to much ?

I just want to live a happy life … without any doubts and smiling all day ….

Heres the pictures where everyone start talking against and laughing about me  im sorry for not being perfect and for my face ..

Konzert - Imagine Dragons in Köln

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